Thursday 31 January 2013

Gandhi’s Top 10 Fundamentals for Changing the World

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”


“The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problem.”
“If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.”
Mahatma Gandhi needs no long introduction. Everyone knows about the man who lead the Indian people to independence from British rule in 1947.Gandhi’s Top 10 Fundamentals for Changing the World

So let’s just move on to some of my favourite tips from Mahatma Gandhi.

1. Change yourself.
“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”
If you change yourself you will change your world. If you change how you think then you will change how you feel and what actions you take. And so the world around you will change. Not only because you are now viewing your environment through new lenses of thoughts and emotions but also because the change within can allow you to take action in ways you wouldn’t have – or maybe even have thought about – while stuck in your old thought patterns.

And the problem with changing your outer world without changing yourself is that you will still be you when you reach that change you have strived for. You will still have your flaws, anger, negativity, self-sabotaging tendencies etc. intact.

And so in this new situation you will still not find what you hoped for since your mind is still seeping with that negative stuff. And if you get more without having some insight into and distance from your ego it may grow more powerful. Since your ego loves to divide things, to find enemies and to create separation it may start to try to create even more problems and conflicts in your life and world.

2. You are in control.
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

What you feel and how you react to something is always up to you. There may be a “normal” or a common way to react to different things. But that’s mostly just all it is.
You can choose your own thoughts, reactions and emotions to pretty much everything. You don’t have to freak out, overreact of even react in a negative way. Perhaps not every time or instantly. Sometimes a knee-jerk reaction just goes off. Or an old thought habit kicks in.
And as you realize that no-one outside of yourself can actually control how you feel you can start to incorporate this thinking into your daily life and develop it as a thought habit. A habit that you can grow stronger and stronger over time. Doing this makes life a whole lot easier and more pleasurable.

3. Forgive and let it go.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”
Fighting evil with evil won’t help anyone. And as said in the previous tip, you always choose how to react to something. When you can incorporate such a thought habit more and more into your life then you can react in a way that is more useful to you and others.

You realize that forgiving and letting go of the past will do you and the people in your world a great service. And spending your time in some negative memory won’t help you after you have learned the lessons you can learn from that experience. You’ll probably just cause yourself more suffering and paralyze yourself from taking action in this present moment.


If you don’t forgive then you let the past and another person to control how you feel. By forgiving you release yourself from those bonds. And then you can focus totally on, for instance, the next point.

4. Without action you aren’t going anywhere.
“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.”

Without taking action very little will be done. However, taking action can be hard and difficult. There can be much inner resistance.

And so you may resort to preaching, as Gandhi says. Or reading and studying endlessly. And feeling like you are moving forward. But getting little or no practical results in real life.

So, to really get where you want to go and to really understand yourself and your world you need to practice. Books can mostly just bring you knowledge. You have to take action and translate that knowledge into results and understanding.

You can check out a few effective tips to overcome this problem in How to Take More Action: 9 Powerful Tips. Or you can move on to the next point for more on the best tip for taking more action that I have found so far.

5. Take care of this moment.

“I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.”

The best way that I have found to overcome the inner resistance that often stops us from taking action is to stay in the present as much as possible and to be accepting.

Why? Well, when you are in the present moment you don’t worry about the next moment that you can’t control anyway. And the resistance to action that comes from you imagining negative future consequences – or reflecting on past failures – of your actions loses its power. And so it becomes easier to both take action and to keep your focus on this moment and perform better.

Have a look at 8 Ways to Return to the Present Moment for tips on how quickly step into the now. And remember that reconnecting with and staying in the now is a mental habit – a sort of muscle – that you grow. Over time it becomes more powerful and makes it easier to slip into the present moment.

6. Everyone is human.


“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.”

“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”

When you start to make myths out of people – even though they may have produced extraordinary results – you run the risk of becoming disconnected from them. You can start to feel like you could never achieve similar things that they did because they are so very different. So it’s important to keep in mind that everyone is just a human being no matter who they are.

And I think it’s important to remember that we are all human and prone to make mistakes. Holding people to unreasonable standards will only create more unnecessary conflicts in your world and negativity within you.

It’s also important to remember this to avoid falling into the pretty useless habit of beating yourself up over mistakes that you have made. And instead be able to see with clarity where you went wrong and what you can learn from your mistake. And then try again.

7. Persist.

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

Be persistent. In time the opposition around you will fade and fall away. And your inner resistance and self-sabotaging tendencies that want to hold you back and keep you like you have always been will grow weaker.

Find what you really like to do. Then you’ll find the inner motivation to keep going, going and going. You can also find a lot of useful tips on how keep your motivation up in How to Get Out of a Motivational Slump and 25 Simple Ways to Motivate Yourself.

One reason Gandhi was so successful with his method of non-violence was because he and his followers were so persistent. They just didn’t give up.

Success or victory will seldom come as quickly as you would have liked it to. I think one of the reasons people don’t get what they want is simply because they give up too soon. The time they think an achievement will require isn’t the same amount of time it usually takes to achieve that goal. This faulty belief partly comes from the world we live in. A world full of magic pill solutions where advertising continually promises us that we can lose a lot of weight or earn a ton of money in just 30 days. You can read more about this in One Big Mistake a Whole Lot of People Make.

Finally, one useful tip to keep your persistence going is to listen to Gandhi’s third quote in this article and keep a sense of humor. It can lighten things up at the toughest of times.

8. See the good in people and help them.
“I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.”

“Man becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.”

“I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means getting along with people.”

There is pretty much always something good in people. And things that may not be so good. But you can choose what things to focus on. And if you want improvement then focusing on the good in people is a useful choice. It also makes life easier for you as your world and relationships become more pleasant and positive.

And when you see the good in people it becomes easier to motivate yourself to be of service to them. By being of service to other people, by giving them value you not only make their lives better. Over time you tend to get what you give. And the people you help may feel more inclined to help other people. And so you, together, create an upward spiral of positive change that grows and becomes stronger.

By strengthening your social skills you can become a more influential person and make this upward spiral even stronger. A few articles that may provide you with useful advice in that department are Do You Make These 10 Mistakes in a Conversation? and Dale Carnegie’s Top 10 Tips for Improving Your Social Skills. Or you can just move on to the next tip.

9. Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self.
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.”

I think that one of the best tips for improving your social skills is to behave in a congruent manner and communicate in an authentic way. People seem to really like authentic communication. And there is much inner enjoyment to be found when your thoughts, words and actions are aligned. You feel powerful and good about yourself.
When words and thoughts are aligned then that shows through in your communication. Because now you have your voice tonality and body language – some say they are over 90 percent of communication – in alignment with your words.
With these channels in alignment people tend to really listen to what you’re saying. You are communicating without incongruency, mixed messages or perhaps a sort of phoniness.


Also, if your actions aren’t in alignment with what you’re communicating then you start to hurt your own belief in what you can do. And other people’s belief in you too.

10. Continue to grow and evolve.

”Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.”
You can pretty much always improve your skills, habits or re-evaluate your evaluations. You can gain deeper understanding of yourself and the world.

Sure, you may look inconsistent or like you don’t know what you are doing from time to time. You may have trouble to act congruently or to communicate authentically. But if you don’t then you will, as Gandhi says, drive yourself into a false position. A place where you try to uphold or cling to your old views to appear consistent while you realise within that something is wrong. It’s not a fun place to be. To choose to grow and evolve is a happier and more useful path to take.



Wednesday 30 January 2013

How to Find More Time for the Things that Mean the Most to You This Year

“Don’t be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. One man gets only a week’s value out of a year while another man gets a full year’s value out of a week.”

Charles Richards

There are many important things in life.

Your family and friends. A hobby perhaps. Working out and staying healthy. Reading, learning and growing as person.

But finding the time for what is most important in life is not always easy. It sometimes feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day.

But even if it may not feel like it, there are often ways to improve how you use your time. In this article I’ll share some of the most effective strategies I have found for doing so and for shaking yourself out of a rut and reconsider how you actually spend your time.

Focus.

With a lack of focus on what is most important in your life it becomes easy to spend too much time and energy on aimless actions or work. On things that aren’t really that important but you do out of old habit or other unhelpful reasons.

To become more focused:

Write down your top 4 priorities where you see them every day. To keep your attention in the right place it is essential to remind yourself every day of what is truly most important to you. So think about it and reduce what is important in your life at this moment to the top 4 most important priorities. Write those four things down on two notes and post one in your workspace and one your night table.

Reduce distractions. Ask yourself: what are the 3 most common distractions that keep me from doing my work in a focused way? Figure out how you can prevent those things from distracting you. It could be by shutting the door to your office, by putting your phone on silent mode for an hour at a time or by having notifications for email shut off.

Find balance. If you just work and work you will quickly become unfocused and the longer the week drags on the more tired you become. To work smarter try using a timer – on your cell phone or use an egg-timer – and set it for 45 minutes. Then put in a drawer or somewhere where you can’t see it.

During those 45 minutes dive in and immerse yourself in the no-distraction zone and your work until the clock rings. Then set you timer for a 15 minute break where you get away from your work space if possible. Take a walk, go for a snack or have a conversation about something else than work.

Simplify.

One of the smarter ways to simplify your life and to free up time that we explore quite a bit in the 31 Days to a Simpler Life Course is to set limits.

Here are a few key areas that you can set powerful limits for:

Your daily input. Reduce the number of blogs, newsletters, magazines, book clubs, podcasts, TV-shows etc. you follow. Just keep the ones you are really getting something out of.
Email. Just check and process your email during one chunk of time once per day. Instead of checking it 10 times or more each day.

Social activities. Write down a list of the social activities you are involved in after school or work. Maybe you are involved in a club or an activity that it is not as fun or rewarding as it used to be. Maybe you want to rearrange your priorities a bit to focus on something else this year.

Minimize or eliminate.
What else can you eliminate or minimize besides the things listed above? Some meetings at work or in school? Redditing or some online forum you hang out on a lot?


Question and reconsider your own habits regularly instead of moving along in the same old tracks just because it what you usually do. See if you want make changes to make more room for things you would honestly get more out of.

Find unnoticed free time in your day.

One final tip. There is often quite a bit of open travel- or waiting-time during a year. What will you use your such time for this year? Perhaps you would like to read more while riding the train or listen to audio books while waiting for a meeting to start or while you are out driving your car.

Even if you only have 20 minutes of commuting time each day then you still have a many, many hours in a year that you may want to, at least partly, use in a new way.

positivity Blog


Tuesday 15 January 2013

Take this little test to check if your current beliefs about goal setting prevent you from achieving your goals


Read the following "winner/loser" thinking list, and honestly think about what your answer would be.

Here we go:

Losers think "I will make New years resolutions in January and my life magically improves."

Winners think "Goal setting is the skill I use every day to achieve my goals."

Losers think "I will set goals in multiple areas of my life to get everything as fast as possible."




Winners think "I will focus on one goal at a time, because focused action brings massive results."

Losers think "My parents think I should get a business degree, so this is my goal."

Winners think "My goals are my own, so I will spend some time researching what I truly want."

Losers think "One I achieve my goal I will be happy."

Winners think "I'm happy right now, on my journey to my goals."

Losers think "I will train my willpower every day and achieve my goals by applying massive discipline."

Winners think "I will find a way to make a journey to my goals fun and exciting, so I would have internal motivation to reach them and avoid procrastination."

Losers think "There is no need to write my goals down, I know what they are."

Winners think "I have a list of my goals, written down in a specific way, that turns my dreams into Power Goals and fuels my motivation. I reread this list regularly."

Losers think "If I fear something that means I shouldn't do it."

Winners think "If I fear something that means I should step out of my comfort zone and do it. Fear is a Universe's way of telling me where I should go next."

Losers think "I set big goals because I don't want to limit my potential."

Winners think "I have a big vision for myself, but I keep my goals small and realistic. I always break down my big goals into smaller ones."

Losers think "I believe I can achieve my goals by taking massive action when I have time for it."

Winners think "I achieve my goals by taking action on a consistent basis, every single day. Even if I spend only 15 minutes on my goal, I know that days add up quickly and consistency is the key."

Losers think "I will reward myself once I achieve my goal."

Winners think "I will develop a reward system to celebrate every step I take to my goal. It will help me to boost my motivation."

Check your scores. How many "winner's beliefs" you've got?

Monday 7 January 2013

Motivation is a State of Mind: 5 Tips on Making It Work

We have all started down the path to a goal at one time or another with the best of intentions. We were highly motivated and virtually shot out of the gate, intent on not only meeting, but exceeding, our goals. At some point, we lost our fire. That motivation that we had at the beginning was simply lost. But where did it go? How is it that we can begin a new project with motivation to spare, only to find it peter out before we’re finished?

The key to staying motivated is to understand that motivation is a state of mind. Though we may have external motivators, ultimately, our motivation lies within. Once you understand that simple fact, you’ll be able to not only get motivated but stay motivated well through the completion of your project or the realization of your goal. Here are five tips to staying motivated:


Motivation Tip #1: One Goal, Not Many


One of the biggest hurdles to maintaining your motivation is biting off more than you can chew. If you discover that your motivation is lagging, look to what you are trying to accomplish and decide if it’s simply too much. If you are getting overwhelmed with all of the things you are trying to accomplish, sit down and prioritize your goals.

Trying to accomplish too many things at once will quickly sap your energy. Concentrate your focus on one goal, moving on to the next when the first is accomplished. For example, if you want to lose 50 pounds, break your weight loss goals into smaller chunks. Make it your first goal to lose ten pounds and then move on to the next ten. Doing so will help you maintain your energy and motivation.

Motivation Tip #2: Find Your Inspiration

How will you stay motivated to meet your goals? Look for varied sources of inspiration! If you want to start your own business, read blogs, articles and books written by successful entrepreneurs. If you want to lose weight, look for others who have achieved their weight loss goals. Don’t expect inspiration to come knocking on your door; get out there and look for it! Finding other people who have not only met their goals, but surpassed them, can be a tremendous source of inspiration and motivation.
Motivation Tip #3: Keep a Journal

Once you’ve decided on what you want to accomplish, keep a journal to track the feelings you experience along the journey. Be sure to keep track of the negatives as well as the positives. Making note of your moods and feelings along the way can help you establish a pattern and help you discover what is sapping your motivation. When you’re feeling particularly underwhelmed, read over your journal and make note of your progress. Reading your journal is a simple activity that can reignite the fire you felt when you started on your journey.

Motivation Tip #4:Surround Yourself with Positive
Believe it or not, one of the quickest ways to lose your motivation is by surrounding yourself with negative people. Whether it’s in real life or on social networking sites, remove the people around you who aren’t 100 percent supportive of your goals. There will always be those people in your life who don’t want to see you succeed, whether they are conscious of that fact or not. You don’t have to ditch these people forever, but you do need to rid yourself of them while you are trying to maintain motivation to realize your dreams.
Motivation Tip #5: Reward Yourself
No matter if it’s our pets, our kids or our spouses, when the beings in our life do something great, we reward them. Do the same for yourself! When you reach milestones along the way to your ultimate goal, do something nice for yourself. Whether you buy yourself a new outfit, give yourself a day at the spa or even spend a day fishing on the lake, do something to reward yourself. Treating yourself for a job well done is a great way to stay motivated enough to meet your goal.

Many people find it helpful to write down the rewards they will give themselves for each milestone. Writing down the ways in which you will reward yourself can keep you motivated when times get tough. If you feel yourself losing motivation, open your journal and see what you’ve promised yourself for the next milestone that you reach. If you’ve made your rewards meaningful, they’ll be enough to get you over any hurdles that you find in your path.

It’s not enough to be motivated; you’ve got to stay motivated! By following these five tips, you can find the motivation that you need to see your goals and dreams to fruition. Set a goal, surround yourself with positive people, find inspiration, keep a journal and reward yourself! You’ll soon find that you’re ready to move on to goal number two!

Jessica Alan is a guidance counselor earning an online masters degree in school counseling while helping children with motivational exercises to prepare them for college.
 --- Arina of Goal Setting Guide





Sunday 6 January 2013

SMART Goal Setting: A Surefire Way To Achieve Your Goals


I encourage you to pick up a pen and a piece of paper and jot down the goals you want to reach. Look at each goal and evaluate it. Make any changes necessary to ensure it meets the criteria for a SMART goals:

  • S = Specific
  • M = Measurable
  • A = Attainable
  • R = Realistic
  • T = Timely

Specific

Goals should be straightforward and emphasize what you want to happen. Specifics help us to focus our efforts and clearly define what we are going to do.
Specific is the What, Why, and How of the SMART model.
  • WHAT are you going to do? Use action words such as direct, organize, coordinate, lead, develop, plan, build etc.
  • WHY is this important to do at this time? What do you want to ultimately accomplish?
  • HOW are you going to do it? (By…)
Ensure the goals you set is very specific, clear and easy. Instead of setting a goal to lose weight or be healthier, set a specific goal to lose 2cm off your waistline or to walk 5 miles at an aerobically challenging pace.

Measurable

If you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it. In the broadest sense, the whole goal statement is a measure for the project; if the goal is accomplished, the is a success. However, there are usually several short-term or small measurements that can be built into the goal.
Choose a goal with measurable progress, so you can see the change occur. How will you see when you reach your goal? Be specific! “I want to read 3 chapter books of 100 pages on my own before my birthday” shows the specific target to be measure. “I want to be a good reader” is not as measurable.
Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set. When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goals.

Attainable

When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways you can make them come true. You develop that attitudes, abilities, skills, and financial capacity to reach them. Your begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals.
Goals you set which are too far out of your reach, you probably won’t commit to doing. Although you may start with the best of intentions, the knowledge that it’s too much for you means your subconscious will keep reminding you of this fact and will stop you from even giving it your best.
A goal needs to stretch you slightly so you feel you can do it and it will need a real commitment from you. For instance, if you aim to lose 20lbs in one week, we all know that isn’t achievable. But setting a goal to loose 1lb and when you’ve achieved that, aiming to lose a further 1lb, will keep it achievable for you.
The feeling of success which this brings helps you to remain motivated.

Realistic

This is not a synonym for “easy.” Realistic, in this case, means “do-able.” It means that the learning curve is not a vertical slope; that the skills needed to do the work are available; that the project fits with the overall strategy and goals of the organization. A realistic project may push the skills and knowledge of the people working on it but it shouldn’t break them.
Devise a plan or a way of getting there which makes the goal realistic. The goal needs to be realistic for you and where you are at the moment. A goal of never again eating sweets, cakes, crisps and chocolate may not be realistic for someone who really enjoys these foods.
For instance, it may be more realistic to set a goal of eating a piece of fruit each day instead of one sweet item. You can then choose to work towards reducing the amount of sweet products gradually as and when this feels realistic for you.
Be sure to set goals that you can attain with some effort! Too difficult and you set the stage for failure, but too low sends the message that you aren’t very capable. Set the bar high enough for a satisfying achievement!

Timely

Set a timeframe for the goal: for next week, in three months, by fifth grade. Putting an end point on your goal gives you a clear target to work towards.
If you don’t set a time, the commitment is too vague. It tends not to happen because you feel you can start at any time. Without a time limit, there’s no urgency to start taking action now.
Time must be measurable, attainable and realistic.
Everyone will benefit from goals and objectives if they are SMART. SMART, is the instrument to apply in setting your goals and objectives.